sidsel: you decide if you'll let people define you
Sidsel Ravn is as bright as they come; both in regards to her colourful style and her mind - which we’re lucky enough to enjoy pretty often as she’s a news reporter on the Danish radio (P3 for all our Danish readers). Sidsel has to be constantly aware of the world around her because of her job but, as you’ll be able to tell from our conversation below, she doesn’t think the world should define who we are. That’s a process, of course - also for Sidsel. And it’s hard to stand completely on your own which is why Sidsel gets her energy from her friends and partner.
We loved this honest and raw conversation about identify, self-care, the media landscape and how we can free ourselves from the norms.
Thank you so much Sidsel for sharing - and you should all follow Sidsel on Instagram right here - especially if you like knitting and pink hair.
Hi Sidsel, your lovely, colourful soul. Can you start by giving our readers a bit of insight into who you are, what you do and how you’re feeling at the moment?
Thank you so much <3
I'm a 34 year old journalist, book lover, sneaker collector, enthusiastic knitter and Playstation gamer. I work at the Danish Broadcasting Corporation DR as a journalist and news caster on P3 News. I've spent most of my career at DR, but I've also had a period working with press for a political party at Christiansborg - the Danish Parliament. My main focus is how to make news and politics accessible and including for a younger audience. I strongly believe that a strong public service news media outlet is one of the pillars of a well functioning democracy, and my contribution to this is trying to engage, captivate, enlighten and maybe even educate people in their late teens and twenties. The most important job is to make this group feel both seen and heard, and it's a job that's definitely not easy - but very meaningful for me!
As to how I'm feeling; I feel that both on a personal level and as a society we're in this period of transition right now. We've dealt with the corona pandemic for almost a year and a half, and now covid is no longer categorised as a disease critical to society and the restrictions have all been lifted. This feels like a moment of opportunity, in a way that we've the power to shape our lives into something different from what it was before the pandemic and what it's been like for the last year and a half. In a way I'm feeling restless, because change is happening and I don't know how it'll manifest yet. But I also kind of like this period of transition and things being up in the air.
We love your style which is bold, fun and full of colour. What role would you say that your style plays in regards to your mood and wellbeing?
That's so kind of you! I've always been drawn towards the looks that are maybe a bit over the top - or that have that something extra. It can be a bold print, a great jacket with sharp shoulder pads, a long and dramatic coat, fresh sneaks and comfy fits. But it can also be just switching out a black shirt with a leopard print one, adding a pair of pink glasses or some extra sparkly eyeshadow. My style definitely plays a part in regards to my mood, and it can go both ways in that if I'm feeling powerful, empowered and energised, I tend to go towards letting that shine through in my outfits. But it can also function as an armour of sorts - if I'm not my most powerful self I can try to manifest a more playful or strong mood through putting on a fire look. But it doesn't always have to be something wild - sometimes it's just a good pair of boots with a good pair of jeans, a basic tee and a good hair day that give me that extra boost. I basically just think clothes are fun, and I like to look and feel cool when I look in the mirror. I often think "If I was at a party, would I be easy to recognise or identify?" you know like "oh yeah, the girl in the pink dress with the green boots", and if the answer's yes I think I'm on the right track.
Do you think we have the power to define and change our own mood and happiness?
I think that we will always mould ourselves to and be shaped and influenced by certain external circumstances like how things are at work, how our friends are treating us, how things are with family and the kinds of energies we're surrounded by. I've definitely changed in this perspective over the years and I've consciously worked very hard to let go of the negative attitude. I have a tendency to worry a lot and maybe overthink things a bit, haha - and I had a period of time a couple years back where I was overworked, stressed and sad. It felt like I wasn't really in touch or in control with certain areas of my life. I doubted myself intensely. Gradually, I made changes in my life, and things started to lighten up for me - I started to see a way forward. In that period and definitely afterwards I've worked a lot with myself in order to not end up in a similar situation again. I'm much more aware of what kind of energy I put forth and also what kind of energy I don't want in my life. My partner has been great in this aspect as well - he's way more relaxed than I am, and he's played a big part in trying to get me to sometimes just exist in a situation and give it a little time, where I earlier would have become frustrated, felt boxed in and maybe even angry, and then tried to change too much too fast. Of course it also depends on what level we're on, sometimes a change of scenery is enough to get out of a bad mood, but if it's a bigger unhappiness, on a general level, I think that we have to power to change our situation, yes - but it might be slow, and we might need the people around us for help and support. Sometimes there will be things we cannot change by ourselves, but we can ask for help to change them or work around them.
Do you ever let the world around you define you and your self-esteem?
Yes, definitely. I feel like it comes quite naturally for me to accept and praise people around me. I want to lift up my friends, my partner, my colleagues and people around me. But at the same time I often don't practice the same kind of positivity towards myself. As I mentioned before with being a worrier and over thinker - I still doubt myself, especially when it comes to my appearance. I wasn't one of those who lost a lot of weight during the pandemic - quite the opposite AND on top of that I started my second round of Vit A-acne treatment as my cystic acne came back four years after I dealt with it for the first time. So I've definitely had a rollercoaster year and a half during this pandemic when it comes to self-esteem! I try to focus on the good things in my life and doing what makes me happy. That involves colourful clothes, working out and trying to stay active, yes - but also eating a lot of bread (among other things), because seriously, how good is bread? I LOVE bread, almost no matter what kind. And in all seriousness, I can't eat all that bread and at the same time constantly berate myself for doing that. Weight is lifestyle, yes - but weight is also genes. The women in my family are a little softer around the middle, and it's not in my genes to be a lean mean bikini machine. And would my life be better or drastically different if I lost those 5-7 kilos? Probably not, I would just miss eating all that bread and drinking wine.
You work in radio as a host on P3 news. How do you think the media has changed lately and are there anything you would love to see more / less of?
I am LOVING the energy we're practicing on having more of the difficult conversations, trying to create more inclusive and informed safe spaces and that both mine and younger generations are so freaking amazing at standing up for themselves and the future. I think it's important that we keep having these conversations and keep an open mind in order to change our future for the better. Echo chambers and the amplification or repetition of certain beliefs tend to make me nervous from time to time. As our use of news media becomes more and more fragmented, I think the joint and democratic conversations become increasingly important. We need to stay informed, and we need to keep the dialogue alive. If we hunker down and just ignore the people we don't agree with, we can't evolve and learn from each other. It's difficult, but it's important.
sitre is here to create a more honest, inclusive and caring take on everything sexy. Can you relate to the picture that the media has created of what is sexy (and what is not)?
I rarely ever feel sexy in a way that's portrayed in the media, haha (or maybe a sad laugh here.) For me, connection is sexy. And not necessarily just in a sexual way. I think that having a true and meaningful connection and feeling seen gives me power, and in that way I feel more confident and relaxed in being me. I think that feeling seen and accepted has the power to make any of us sexy in that it enables both self love and confidence, and sexiness grows from that. Sexy is not a look, it's a feeling.
Do you prioritise self-care? If so, how does it look to you?
Is it too Copenhagen basic to say my partner, my girls and five bottles of Sancerre? I'm not entirely kidding, haha. But self-care for me is a dual thing. I love to hang out and go out with my partner and my friends, but I also need to recharge solo. Skincare has always been a kind of meditative activity for me, as I've struggled with bad skin for most of my life since my teens. So taking a long shower, putting on a face mask and watching a movie with my partner or playing a good game on my playstation give me the energy I want to go out and spend with my friends. I need both - the parties and the days where I don't go outside my apartment.
Finally: if you were going to give someone advice on how to break themselves free from expectations and instead be 100% themselves, what would you tell them?
Wear the dress. Colour your hair. Get those bangs. Pierce your ears, your nose or your belly button. Get the tattoo. Go on that weird retreat that you're afraid people will judge you for. Take a deep dive into your own nerdy universe. Say out loud what makes you happy and what you want. Know your worth and love your friends. Treat people around you with love and kindness, but take no shit. Take stock of your life and work towards changing the things that don't work for you. Work around the things you cannot change. People will always want to define you, but you decide if you let them.
So much for the good cat, Sidsel.
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