charlotte and johanna: intimacy is a cornerstone of our well-being
Stockholm-based Charlotte Manning and Johanna Ljunggren are two friends, and co-founders, who are hard to put into a box. Neither have ever just chosen the ‘easy path’ or made obvious choices. They have lived, and worked, their own way. Their journeys have led them to found Food For Thought; a newly launched wellness retreat that asks you “what are you hungry for?”. A question that really planted itself in our minds when we read it. Because so many of us can run so fast that we forget why we’re doing what we’re doing. sitre doesn’t believe life is just meant to be survived - it’s meant to enjoyed, feel good and fill you up with pleasure. And that’s very aligned with Charlotte and Johanna’s vision. And lucky for us, they agree that intimacy is a crucial part of feeling good in this world. Please make sure to follow Charlotte, Johanna and their beautiful retreat (the next one is in September so go go go) - and we hope this conversation will leave its mark on you like it did with us.
Hi Charlotte and Johanna, could you start by giving us a short introduction to who you are?
Johanna: I was born in Ecuador and adopted by Swedish parents; I lived in various parts of the world, including Washington D.C., Iran, and the Dominican Republic, before settling in Sweden. At 17, I left home and entered the fashion industry through an ex-boyfriend, working as a fashion stylist for eight years. My pregnancy prompted me to leave the industry and opened up new opportunities and perspectives.
Today, I work as a creative consultant, writer, culinary artist, yoga teacher, and advocate for food sovereignty and social justice. I provide innovative consulting services for brands, primarily in the fashion and beauty industries. Hopefully, I inspire people that you don’t need to fit into just one box to define yourself and what you do.
25 years ago, a pregnancy yoga class set me on a new path. I undertook a three-year teacher training course, which I completed after the birth of my daughter. A challenging divorce led me to blend my love for food with teaching, but I found myself missing the innovation of my previous career. This longing drew me back to the world of fashion and beauty, where I now serve as a consultant and contributing editor for Faith Love Hope Magazine, among other outlets. Today, I bring a unique and adaptable perspective to every project, drawing from my diverse professional experiences. I am deeply grateful for the common thread that connects my varied pursuits and enriches my work as a consultant.
Charlotte: I was born in Stockholm, Sweden and moved to Minneapolis Minnesota when I was 4 where I spend most of my life. I moved to Chicago for university where I eventually found my passion for writing and storytelling and got my degree in English, with a concentration in creative writing and poetry.
After university I felt called to move back to my home town - felt a bit of an identity crisis and knew that moving back to Sweden was what I needed to find my voice and I’m so happy that I did!
I’ve been in Stockholm now for 7 years and have worked in multiple industries, but somehow always gravitated towards leadership roles that focus on communications and community. Most recently I worked as a copywriter for the agency house of radon and then after as the event coordinator for soho house Stockholm opening year and in January I took the leap of faith and began my freelance journey, and so far it’s been amazing, getting to choose my projects and focus all my energy on the multiple things I love to do, ultimately bringing people together and advocating for storytelling in all areas of social interaction.
How do you approach wellness, and how do you think intimacy fits into this?
Johanna: To me, wellness is about well-being. "Being well with oneself" is an ideal opening to intimacy and involves achieving a harmonious balance between mind, body, and spirit. I penned these words during a transformative phase in my life 15 years ago when life took a tough turn.
SEX & BODY ISSUES
Sex is not the skirt, the dress, the heels, nor the ass, the hair, the breasts, or the lips. It's the movement, the pauses, the dance of giving and receiving. And it comes from within, beyond what we see on the outside. It is an endless, limitless journey.
Charlotte: I agree wholeheartedly with Johanna. Wellness is entirely personal. “Wellness” as a buzzword and societal concept has become a bit blurred by what is “trending” in the journey of living a happier and healthier life – and I often feel that conversations on wellness actually steer us further away from the simplicity of it. Wellness, by intimacy standards, is about you. YOUR mind, YOUR body, and YOUR general self-awareness of your wants and needs. As Johanna said, it’s all about finding a balance that makes you feel fulfilled and confident, but also knowing that we are always changing and evolving, especially as women.
How has your understanding of intimacy evolved, and why do you think it's crucial for your overall wellness?
Johanna: Initially, I viewed intimacy primarily in a physical and romantic context, and I didn't have a healthy approach to the act or to myself for many years. I found myself in volatile relationships where toxic sex became a form of self-punishment, a consequence of situations where abuse and self-abuse took over. This tumultuous period deeply affected my sense of self-worth and emotional well-being.
Intimacy is a cornerstone to well-being. It's not just about romantic or physical connections, but also about being intimately aware of oneself. Understanding and accepting one's needs, desires, and vulnerabilities can lead to profound self-awareness and, hopefully, self-love. This is important as it helps break down barriers of shame and guilt often associated with these topics.
Charlotte: I think a lot of women have had the same experience – and it’s undoubtedly because of the way that intimacy is taught to us at a young age. I am 29 years old and until only a few years ago, I truly believed that intimacy was defined by sexual pleasure – it is through being in a healthy relationship with my partner (and myself!) that I have started to learn that intimacy for me is everything that sex is not. It is silence. It is stillness. It is mundanity.
And in the context of long-term relationships (if that’s your thing, I’m just speaking from my perspective) I think that the sooner you seek intimacy as a spiritual (not of body) connection with somebody else, the sooner you realize just how transformative intimacy can be both personally and in relation to another person – and that understanding of intimacy is what has made sex a very mature and safe place for me for the first time in my life.
Have you ever found it challenging to talk about intimacy, sex, and pleasure? If so, what made those conversations difficult for you?
Johanna: Yes, there have been and are times when discussing these topics feel challenging. The irony of this overt awkwardness is not lost on me. We live in a world where sex, as a visual phenomenon, is omnipresent—advertising, media, and culture. Yet, there is a pervasive silence regarding inquiring and open discussions about our experiences and feelings. This dichotomy creates a complex environment where navigating conversations about intimacy can feel fraught with difficulty.
If you've felt this way, you're not alone. These conversations are often laden with societal taboos and personal insecurities. For me, the difficulty stemmed from a fear of judgment and the ingrained notion that these topics should be kept private, especially when abuse was involved.
Charlotte: 100%! Until a few years ago I might have been the awkwardest person to talk to about any of it. Part of that is because I think I was (and still am) learning what I know to be true about intimacy, sex, and pleasure, apart from what I’ve grown up learning and seeing of it – which often left me feeling like it was all very one-sided. Piggy-backing on Johanna, pop culture and media REALLY shame us - whether or not it’s intentional, shame is so present in many of our experiences. For me, the hardest conversations to have were about romance more than sex – understanding that it looks different for everyone, and admitting that I was often choosing toxicity because I thought I had to or because it was addictive. Though I give myself the credit for unlearning and doing the work to view my experiences as something worthy of conversation, I also give credit to the people in my life (Johanna being one of them!) who by being so open and vulnerable in their experiences have helped me to feel understood in whatever shame I have clung to. Sitting with your shame doesn’t have to be a solo project, but it’s necessary to shed the very complicated layers of it. I am still very much on the journey of openness and vulnerability about this particular topic, but I’ve learned it starts with myself–owning my past, giving myself grace, and ultimately, allowing myself to invite other people into that conversation when it feels productive to my growth.
How do you check in with your own needs and desires?
Johanna: It involves regular self-reflection and mindfulness practices. However, it is a non-linear journey. Sometimes, I am confident in what I want, and sometimes, I am not.
Charlotte: Talking to myself through writing. It’s a form of self-reflection, and I will always be the biggest advocate of questioning yourself, challenging yourself, and admitting things to yourself and only yourself.
What advice would you give if someone wasn't able to focus on their own intimate needs because of confidence and shame?
Johanna: I am not an expert, so giving advice on a deeper level is challenging. It all depends on why there is shame and a lack of confidence. My advice would be to start by understanding why it's hard to sit with the shame and then inquire why it's there. It's essential to recognize that these feelings are common and that feeling vulnerable is okay. Seeking support from a trusted friend or therapist can be incredibly beneficial. Remember, embracing your intimate needs is personal and gradual, so be patient and gentle with yourself.
Charlotte: I try to steer away from giving advice because I still have so much to learn but, what I do know to be true is that there is a difference between the feeling of shame and the feeling of intuition. Both are deeply rooted feelings that often feel like a physical manifestation in your gut. And though it’s easier to submit to shame, because we are used to it, intuition usually guides you to a lighter, safer space of reflection and understanding. own your own body and the mind within it – and be cautious about who you allow to weigh in on your feelings and experience.
shop sitre
sitre’s sex wellness products bring an honest, inclusive and mindful take on intimacy.