meg: I used to be scared of my body
Photography Carys Huws
Meg Rees is a breath of fresh (and sexy) air as she speaks so openly and honestly about pleasure, desires and sex - because as she says: why the hell not? But she hasn’t always felt like this; her journey involves working as a stripper, going through a break-up and exploring solo sex, becoming a tatoo artist, writing a book and making a podcast - so she’s been through a lot to get to the place she is today. But luckily we can learn from her journey and we are so grateful for her sharing it with us. We hope you will enjoy our conversation as much as we did - and make sure to follow her on Instagram right here.
Hi Meg, we’re so excited to be chatting with you. Could you start by telling us a bit about yourself and how you’re feeling at the moment?
Hey! First of all, also very excited to be chatting to you both! Thanks for having me! A little bit about me, well I’m a tattoo artist, painter, podcaster, writer, serial dater. Love obsessed 13-year-old going on 34, (35 in march) so I’m a Pisces overall emotional feels everything kinda gal.
Right now, I suppose I’m feeling a mix bag of emotions. Missing the feeling of sun on my skin, and confused by the world that surrounds us, but also excited to see what the future can bring, I’m an optimist so even when I feel sad, I let it fuel me into something positive, i.e. creating art, podcasting and trying to drink every drop life has to offer me.
You have a great way of celebrating individuality and uniqueness which we adore. When you were younger, did you feel like you could be yourself and still feel ‘sexy’?
You know what, I feel I have been unapologetically myself from the word go, giving a zero fucks approach* to people’s bullshit. And standing up for what I knew was right in many ways. If that was standing up for my brother being bullied or telling boys fuck off for being dicks.
From the young age of around 15 I remember doing ‘sexy’ photo shoots on self-timer with my digital camera in my bedroom, with a playboy poster above my bed. In underwear, and photos in which I’d share with boys’late night on msn. Also going on webcam in my underwear, I kind of always knew I had a hold over men (well boys then) in some sort of sexual way. Like many girls growing up can be confusing but I became quite fascinated by sex early on, staying up late and watching ‘sex and the city’ and then followed by sexcetera (when my mum was asleep) and finding masturbation was a way of escape for me, finding my own sexuality was quite an exciting thing, so I suppose I lived in my little secret Meg sexual fantasy world behind closed doors for a while as a teenager until I really met boys. Then the real fun started. So yes, in short, I feel I have always felt some sort of sexy, it’s kind of been my super power in a way that it’s given me the confidence to do things others wouldn’t.
You’re the host of the great podcast ‘You’ve Gotta Be Joking’ and shared how your story about becoming a stripper when you were 19 years old. Thank you for sharing this on the podcast. How do you think this affects you to this day?
The reason I started the podcast was a prelude into the book I’ve been writing since I was 19. A total accident! but I speak about all the experiences I had whilst stripping. And well it’s not all glitz and glam, and bags full of money as you’d quite imagine. No money tucked into your pants, or millionaires coming and chucking wads of money to you on stage whilst you danced to Akon’s ‘smack that’.
There was a real darkness, a slippery slope into a world you’d not want to be knocking off the door of. I’ve had a lot of therapy dealing with past trauma for some of the things I did when stripping, and out of hours activities which I write about in the book. Which is kind of scary sharing them with the world.
But it affects me now to this day, it taught me about men, about sex. About sexuality, And the dangers of the world.
I had my first girl experience whilst I was at work one evening, the stories and what I experienced within that 3-year period were what shaped me into who I am today. Fascinated by sex, what drives people to do certain things. And above all love (finding it in the wrong places). And what makes people tick. I’ve learned how to treat people, and what people to stay fucking clear of, I feel I’ve lived a thousand lives in this one life.
Can you relate to the mainstream way that intimacy is being talking about in society?
I still feel sex isn’t talked about as much as it should be, when I started the podcast, I lost a lot of followers. Because people don’t want to hear about it. They shy away from the ‘behind closed doors’ stuff that goes on, people are still embarrassed about their antics, fantasies, bodies and sexual needs.
Photography Carys Huws
Or they look at you like you’re a slut, and need to be a bit more of a prude, and ‘keep things to myself’ or that ‘you’re mental’.
They worry of a judgement from society, or what any ‘normal person’ would think if you told someone you had a certain kink or had slept with a few ‘too many’ people than normal. But what is normal? Everyone has sex. So, we should talk about it more.
There’s a hell of a lot of judgement, and I feel like that is sad. Someone once said to me ‘do you ever think when you realise your book, nobody will love you because of the things you’ve done?’ It’s sad that people look at life experience that way.
The way I look at sex is that you should experience it all, if you feel you want to. Then that is a powerful thing to be able to live out those fantasies. As long as you’re safe and not hurting anybody. There is no harm. I feel it is and needs to be talked about for a healthy relationship with sex, and your own body. And all-around health and mental health. Sex is such a freeing thing and helps with so much. It’s taught me to love myself. I feel now you can’t be ‘too sexy’ because brands won’t want to work with you, we live in a world filled with content that means nothing, and that isn’t sexy! It isn’t real. And I’m all about real life, grit and being true.
That’s what I want to do I want to break the cycle of that. Like I said, I’m unapologetically myself. And I will be until the end. I want to bring something more to the world. And if I can help people along the way, then I’ve done something great.
How you do you think intimacy has an effects on your well-being today?
I broke up with my long-term partner 2.5 years ago, and one of the reasons we broke up was because we didn’t have this together. We were best friends, but we didn’t have the sexual intimacy in which I so craved.
So, when we broke up, and over the last 2.5 years I have turned into a different person. Before I’d be scared of sex, be scared of my body, be scared of saying what I wanted in the bedroom, what I needed. What turned me on. But the people I have met over this time have taught me so much. This is people I’ve slept with, friends I’ve met along the way and people who I’ve tattooed and their stories they have shared with me. Because everyone has fantasies, they aren’t weird. They are normal. We all masturbate, we all have sex, so what’s the issue? I’ve realised I need it more than I thought I did.
The friendships I have are so much more intimate, the people I surround myself with I have very close relationships with. I can share a kiss with my best friends all through love and no expectations. Purely an appreciation and enjoyment of each other being alive in this weird world at the very same time. There’s such beauty in that. The people I have around me are open like me with sex, and sexual chat. We need to normalise this and not shy away from it. Its fucking freeing!
I’m an extremely deep person so I need to have this around me. It keeps me sane in many ways. Those people, I thank. They have brought me out of my prudish little shell in which I was for many years. I feel free now.
What changes would you like to see within the world of intimacy, sex and pleasure?
A open-ness to it. It’s always been such a taboo subject. And when I think about sex, I’ve always thought of it was ‘dirty’ when I was younger- growing up, I felt touching myself was wrong, and wondered if I was the only one feeling constantly confused with wanting to hump my teddys and wank myself into oblivion. And there’s so many people who are the same, still now. Some of my friends don’t mention a word about sex. When I know they all do it. But my closest circle are just like me, as are many others. But now, I’ll speak about sex to anyone who will listen, and I’ll be fucking graphic too. I’ll make people blush. Not to make them uncomfortable but I don’t see the harm in being too much TMI.
I also enjoy it because before I couldn’t even say the word ‘pussy’without cringing to a inch of my life. I’m certainly not a prude, quite the opposite. And I’d like to bring those prudes out of their shells. Because that was me for a long time. Living as a prude, but inside wanting to burst out and experience every sexual experience I possibly could. Why should we be ashamed of sex? Simple answer, we shouldn’t. but its confidence some of us just don’t have-yet.
You’re never going to regret those things; I always say imagine if you were on your death bed. You’d never look back and go ‘I wish I hadn’t had that threesome’. You’d be happy you’d experienced things some people won’t in their lifetime. It would be amazing, if couples struggling like I did with my ex were more open to trying new things, something we didn’t do. Expressing your needs and your wants, your fantasies and not feeling shame and feeling embarrassed by it.
I feel happy I’ve been able to help people feel empowered to be more open sexually. I think my experience and speaking about it so openly on the podcast has helped. And that fills me with joy Because as I said having a healthy sex life, makes for a great and healthy life all in all.
For those struggling to connect with themselves intimately, what advice would you give them to feel more at ease with their own bodies and desires?
Honestly for me it’s all been about experimenting with my own body, and what feels good. You don’t need a partner for this. That’s the beauty of toys. Get a few things if it sparks your intrigue even if you’re like ‘no I don’t think I’d be into that’ If you don’t try it, how will you know?
Read books about sex, there’s one I’ve been reading which is super interesting and its Gillian Andersons book ‘want’ She has curated a book filled with hundreds of anonymous sexual fantasies from people all over the world. It makes you feel seen, accepted. And that what we fantasise about is totally normal, no matter how ‘weird’ society deems it as. If you’re struggling with this, you always come (cum) first. Find out what turns you on, eventually when you feel comfortable enough you can do it with a partner, and how fucking exciting is that! Setting boundaries, but also breaking them if it feels right.
The unknown can be scary, but also sexy and exiting. Life is there to be experienced. Do things that make you scared, fill your belly with butterflies, and kiss that hot stranger you’re on a date with. Because at the end of the day. Why fucking not!
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