maria: now it's all about the senses
photo by Petra Kleis
Maria Barfod is so many things that it can be hard to describe with one sentence… and maybe that’s the beauty of it: she should never be described with one sentence. She’s a DJ, booker at the club Søpavillionen, a stylist, a founder of the health consultancy ‘Hej Krop’ (Hi Body), a mum, a friend… and she’s honest. She’s always shared her life - also the hard things that so many of us go through.
So obviously we were very excited when she agreed to model in our latest shoot. She appeared on the Monday after Copenhagen Fashion Week, where she had worked every single day, with the biggest smile on her face. She hadn’t had time to eat but she seemed like one big energy bomb. And as she said “It’s my birthday soon… I like to do something a big wild before my birthday”. Thank you Maria for sharing not just your beautiful looks but also your beautiful mind with us. We loved this interview and felt very moved by these answers. Make sure you follow Maria on Instagram right here and we hope you’ll get inspired by her thoughts as much as we did.
Can you start by telling us a bit about how you’re feeling at the moment?
I am happy for the first time in my life. I can feel it in my bones. I’ve always thought I was an emo; the music I love and the big emotions… but I’ve really worked a lot with myself the last few years and it’s as if I’ve burst my bubble and really learned to appreciate everything in life. I’m grateful from the moment I wake up. I’m not trying to make it sound like my life is easy because it demands a lot to sustain this kind of energy. But I want to put the work into every day because the butterflies life gives me is something I never want to be without again.
We’ve been following you for a long time and we love your honest take on life - it’s full of humour but also honest about the harder things. Have you always valued openness?
I’ve always been told I am too much. Teachers, friends, family. Everyone. It’s partly been because I couldn’t help but be myself and to be honest and open. So I’ve probably been a lot. I won’t say it’s helped me - quite the opposite. But I can say that there won’t be a lot of people out there who would say I’m not an honest creature.
Do you think there’s enough honesty about sex?
No - not at all. It’s a subject that everyone’s interested in but very few talk about it. I’m also 50/50 when it comes to this subject. I can’t help but show my sexuality but not as much as I would like to. Even though some might find that I show my feminim side too much. If I’m in a relationship, I keep quiet about my sex life - that’s sacred… but at a the same time I can easily talk about sex in an open forum. But that’s also because so many funny stories come out of being with a partner you don’t know so well yet.
You’re so in tune with your mind and body. Do you think there’s a connection between wellness and intimacy?
Definitely. I don’t have one type that I fall for. For me it’s all about the vibe. But one thing they all have in common is that they’re clean, haha. I’m very picky when it comes to that. Because you’re gonna be all over each other, so… :)
Has your idea of sexiness changed with age?
I once thought I had a type. I should under no circumstances be with a guy with chest hair. Until I met and fell in love with a man with chest hair. Then it didn’t matter.
In regards to myself then I definitely think I would be nicer to be with now than when I was 20. I might have had harder boobs but I didn’t enjoy sex as I do now and I didn’t let myself go. I think it was more porn-ish when I was young and more about the senses now. I don’t know… but one thing I will say is that my drive hasn’t gotten lower with age. That is 100% a myth.
What changes would you like to see regarding the narrative of sex?
I think I’ve been (and still am) full of shame in regards to sex because of my gender. My drive is too big, too many partners, dressed too sexy and so on. A man would be called a stud if he pulled every weekend. If I do the same, I’m a slut. I honestly don’t get it.
Finally: If someone was going to start exploring, what advice would you give them?
Start by loving yourself. From within. I’ve had quite a lot of sex with myself the last year as I’ve been single and it’s been completely amazing. Start by getting to know yourself. Touch yourself. Maybe close your eyes to kickstart your senses. And learn where you like to get touched - this will be valuable when being with a partner. When you’ve learned to use your hands, then try a vibrator. Not everyone thinks it for them but I will recommend that you try it starting with a mild version. Learn to love your body so when you meet someone else you won’t focus on all the things that are “wrong” as you’ll be in a place where you instead can focus on everything you love about yourself.
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