jacob & jørgen: intimacy is a stabilizing force

It’s hard not to be drawn in by the world of Jacob and Jørgen; two creative and beautiful souls who are so caring and reflective. Being in a relationship doesn’t always mean you are able to talk openly about intimacy with a partner - we might be afraid of changing the other part’s idea of us or maybe we don’t want to hurt their feelings. There can be many reasons and they are all valid - but to truly connect intimately we have to feel free to be ourselves. It’s not easy but it felt so moving to interview Jacob and Jørgen as they both agreed that they feel the most connected with each other when they’re their most vulnerable self. It can be a good exercise to ask ourselves when we feel strongest for our loved ones - and maybe this can help us realise that opening up could actually make the connection even more powerful that it already is. We hope you’ll enjoy this article as much as we did and make sure to follow Jacob here and Jørgen here.

Hi Jacob and Jørgen, could you start by giving our readers an introduction to who each of you are?
Jacob: My name is Jacob, I grew up in the suburbs of Copenhagen with my Danish mom, Chilene dad and two incredible siblings. My journey to embracing my worth and queer identity has been quite a road. But I am very happy to live an authentic and extremely privileged life today. After a decade in the fashion industry, I founded Buzzcut Zeazon last year, aiming to bring change and innovation to the art of fashion by providing creative direction, production, PR, and research for my clients. Additionally, I work as a youth counselor for an NGO, advising young people on gender, body, and sexuality.

Jørgen: My name is Jørgen, and I am 21 years old, born and raised in Kristiansund, Norway. I have been living in Copenhagen for about one and a half years, where I am studying architecture at the Royal Danish Academy. My perspective on the world has always been shaped by visual interpretations. I have been drawing since I was very young, often questioning, 'What will I ever need this for?' However, in my adult life, the ability to translate visual concepts from my mind onto paper excites me about architecture and fuels my aspirations for what I hope to contribute to the world. The ocean has always captivated me, bringing a sense of calmness that resonates in both my architectural inspiration and our choice, Jacob and mine, for peaceful getaways to unwind and disconnect.

We absolutely adore these photos of you. How did the two of you meet?
It's not the most romantic story, but we met on Grindr. Jørgen had just moved to Copenhagen a week before, and when I saw him on the app, I thought, 'I have never seen any guy so beautiful, who the heck is this fake profile?' What started as casual hookups turned into dating, then a relationship, and now we live together, supporting each other in pursuing all our dreams as each others’ greatest cheerleaders.

What role do you think intimacy plays in a relationship?
We perceive intimacy as a stabilizing force amidst the whirlwind of our daily existence. Our lives are a tapestry woven with expectations, duties, and responsibilities, all of which we navigate independently. However, within the cocoon of intimacy that envelops us, the weight of these responsibilities dissipates, allowing us to find solace in each other's presence. Additionally, intimacy is intrinsically linked with trust, epitomizing the beauty of vulnerability and the ability to place unwavering faith in another soul.

Do you find it easy to talk about pleasure, desires and sex in your relationship?
Absolutely. Since we met, we've been transparent about what brings us pleasure, our fantasies, and turn-ons. We don't impose limitations on any fantasies and continue to explore with great curiosity.

When do you feel most connected to each other?
Jacob: For me, I feel most connected to Jørgen when I see him happy, relaxed, confident, and appreciated. I also feel a strong connection when we support each other during conflicts or seek comfort and advice.

Jørgen: I agree with Jacob. Don't get me wrong, but I believe that, for me at least, I feel most connected to Jacob when I am at my weakest. It's during those times, especially, that life really emphasizes how much I rely on Jacob in my life.

In what way (if any) do you think intimacy has changed throughout your relationship?
Initially, there was a barrier of being aware of how the other perceives you when we started dating. Over time, we've fallen even more in love by embracing each other's less perfect sides. This deeper connection has enhanced our physical intimacy, and made the sex so fucking good.

Finally, what advice would you give if someone didn’t know how to tell a partner about their intimate desires
Jacob: I have actually had that conversation with multiple of our friends, as I have always been quite outspoken about my sex life and my both high and open-minded sex drives. I would always advice for that person to find a sort of ‘passage’ to help deliver the questions. That can be watching a movie with similar situations, playing a game with intimate questions or sharing your intimate dreams and fantasies, and how they affect you. In conclusion, intimacy is a highly personal aspect for specific individuals, and it is unquestionably their prerogative. Since not every person shares identical types and intensities of lust and desire, the utmost priority lies in refraining from imposing anything on anyone. It is imperative to consistently respect boundaries whenever someone establishes them.

Jørgen: I don't have many thoughts on this matter, to be honest. However, my initial instinct is that I seek satisfaction from any intimate encounter. Otherwise, I'd rather abstain from engaging with another person intimately. Therefore, clear communication from the outset is crucial. Moreover, while it's important to prioritize our partner's needs, we also have a responsibility to addresse our own

jacob & jørgen: intimacy is a stabilizing force

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